Monday, 21 April 2008

Not just a banana....

Week 15

Weight: 19st 7.5lb.
Loss this week: 4lb.
Total lost: 46lb

Through the power of wearing weightless clothing (fact!) I have managed to shed another 4 of those pesky pounds this week. Thank goodness the weather has warmed up enough to allow such light fabrics!

While I was in the bath earlier I was pondering body dysmorphia - you know that condition where gorgeous people think they are ugly? Well I kind of think I have that in reverse. I look in the mirror and see a slim attractive 20 year old woman - I get a terrible shock when I see photos of myself! I think I prefer it this way round though, since it enables me to leave the house with my head held high a big smile plastered on my face. It must be tough to hate yourself and think you are ugly, the world isn't a kind place for people with hang ups and differences.

What does make me self concious though is doing anything that draws attention to my situation. For example, at the weekend I took Rebecca to M&S for lunch (she has very sophisticated tastes for a 6 year old!) and I was forced to sit and eat an apple and a banana, with a glass of water and a black coffee chaser while she tucked into her children's goody bag of tasty treats. Eating my fruit made me feel very visible, it was like having a big sign pointing at me saying "Too Fat For Cake!"

Still, it wasn't just a banana, it was a home grown, sun ripened, hand picked, organically farmed, Fairtrade Marks and Spencers banana, so it wasn't all bad after all.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Wendy
I am Christine who started at St Johns SW last week.
I have really enjoyed reading your blog and have found it quite inspirational!! You have done amazingly well!! Keep up the good work

Wendy said...

Hi Christine, glad you enjoyed the read! Keep reading, I like knowing someone is reading my words - vain, so very very vain!

Have a good week, see you in class!

Stacey said...

HI, I just found your blog today looking to see how thin I'd have to be to fit in a 12. whoa the luck! I totally have the same mirror deal. I look in it and I look fantastic. Then I see a photo and claim imposter.

Best of luck. I'm doing it with you. 5.5 stone to go!