....And coming up, after the break....

Hehe!

Week 20

Weight: 18st 11lb.
Loss this week: 2.5lb.
Total lost: 56.5lb

As promised, without further ado, here's the photos we've all been waiting for! (Less dramatic than I imagined actually!)




I can only apologise for the quality of the pictures, and I hereby promise to spend the next 2st learning how to make a photo montage that people can actually see! (You have *no* idea how convoluted a process it was bringing these pics together!)

Yaaaaawn!

Tired, so tired!

If anyone is thinking they might work nights on a permanent basis for some reason, take my advice and don't do it! You come in from work practically asleep already. So you go to bed as soon as you can (school run done, home to bed!) But then you can't drag your arse out of bed in time to get to the gym before having to do the return school run. And that's it. Opportunity over. 6 days has passed since I last entered a gym, during which time I have worked 4 nights (I have done an exercise DVD at home but it's not in the same league!). Nights are making me old, tired, fat and unfit!

My mother in law thinks if you are working a night shift, that's the same as a day off. It isn't.

Anyhow, it's now half term, and free time will no longer exist until the schools go back. I will get in the gym tomorrow afternoon while Rebecca's at dancing and then nothing. But we are going camping midweek and the great outdoors is much healthier than walking on a treadmill, and oh so much more fun! I might haul my old bike out of the shed. I doubt I'd get any further than hauling it out mind you.....

Navel Gazing

Week 19

Weight: 18st 13.5lb.
Loss this week: 1.5lb.
Total lost: 54lb

Due to a minor clerical error, it actually says "8st 13.5lb" in my weigh in book. Oh how I wish! But in lieu of that being true, I'm happy to see the number drop below 19, even if it is by the skin of my teeth!

This past week has been immensely hard, mentally. I don't know why, but I could have binged and binged and never tired of binging. Naturally this didn't make me the most positive and happy person to be around and poor dh bore the brunt of my moodiness. He has now said he wished I'd just go and eat a bar of chocolate and get it out of my system! My personal fear was that I wouldn't be able to stop. His personal fear was that we have sharp knives in the house.....!

I am now forced to reflect on the week and wonder how much harm my negative thought processes did. I fought with myself tooth and nail to "be good" and indeed I didn't waver off plan at all. But to achieve that I ate more than I normally would. Whenever I wanted to sprint to the Chinese, I went and ate something "free" instead. I craved a *lot*! I can't help but wonder whether I might have consumed less calories if I'd just given in to my cravings on day 1 and got them out of the way!

So I've worked hard, fought my demons, exercised my heart out, and scraped in with 1.5lbs. That was the hardest 1.5lbs in the history of the world!

Here's to an easier week and a 2lb loss so I can post those photos. (I'm going to be like one of those really annoying TV shows now, where they spend more time telling you what's coming up after the break than showing you what;s happening now!)

Teaser

I'm posting this to offset the negativity I allowed to creep in here this week. I'm so over that!

I'm dying to do my next progress pics - I want you to see what I'm seeing! In the interest of fairness I'm planning on doing them in my gym clothes, and I've just been checking myself out in front of the mirror practicing a myriad of poses [insert laughing emoticon here!]

I'm wearing a size 22 tshirt, having recently discarded my old size 32 one as seen on the previous pics. While I was never actually a size 32, it didn't seem too big for me either. Also, the new tshirt is bright pink rather than invisible brown. Well I want to wear it for my Race for Life and pink is the way to go there! My bottoms are also a size 22, so I don't care about those XXL theatre scrubs, I am wearing a size 22 trouser easily and I look good so there [pokes tongue out]

I look so much thinner in my inexpert opinion. The only thing wrong with the look is that my 38GG twin girls are squished into my Enell sports bra, and that is a serious bra - they wouldn't dare even think of bouncing while under the control of Enell! I wonder if it would be cheating massively to wear a more figure enhancing bra just for the photos?

Anyway, I said I'd do the pics when I'd lost 4 stone, so not long to go now. Hopefully. I just wanted to let you know they are in the pipeline and will be worth a look!

Now since I'm all dressed for it, I'd best go and do some exercise!

Short and Sweet

I had to go and spend the day working in a department that required me to wear theatre scrubs today.

It's a bloody good job I didn't go 52.5lbs ago, that's all I'm saying!

Good News First

The good news is that if I catch an unexpected glimpse of myself in a shop window or whatever, it makes me smile..how cool is that! I no longer need to avert my eyes in fear of seeing something I don't like! Yesterday there was a full length mirror by the checkout in Aldi and after the first surprise glimpse, I kept looking back at it just to make sure that it wasn't a fluke. I may even find photographs less distressing now...let's hope so because there are some new progress pics due in the next couple of weeks.

The bad news is I don't feel like I am making any progress at the gym. In fact let's go back to when I started this programe and review things in the cold light of day.

Nautical Walker
Then: 10 mins / 100 cals
Now: rarely go on it (there's only 3 and it's popular!) but when I do, 10 mins is my limit. No progress.

Bike
Then: 3k - no time mentioned.
Now: 5k in 13 minutes. I have made progress on this, I am sustaining a much faster peddling speed over the span of the exercise.

Treadmill
Then: 10 minutes, "reasonable pace" 3% incline
Now: 20 minutes of walk for 3mins, jog for 1min, horrifyingly mainly no incline - where did the incline go??

Power Plate
No change there, I'm just still doing the same routine I was given in March. I need to up the ante there!

Free weights
Then: Bicep curls with 4kg weights, side arm raises with 2kg weights - I don't say how many I could do but I recall it wasn't many.

Now: Bicep curl with 3kg weights, 3 sets of 12. Side arm raises with 2kg weights, 3 sets of 12. I took the weight down so I could do the reps, I don't see this as a bad thing. No point lifting a heavier weight only a tiny number of times I think?

Chest Press
Then: 25kg 3 sets of 15, I remarked that I couldn't do it and may reduce the weight.
Now: 20kg 3 sets of 15, I can do it.

I have now added in a couple more machines - leg abductor one and it's opposite, and do 3 sets of 20 at 20kg on each of them. And my cool down us usually 10 mins on any cardio machine and then my stretches.

If anyone reading has any idea how I can step my workout up a level without actually suffering a fatal heart attack, I'm all ears. I want to progress but it just isn't happening. And the monthly update with your instructor thing as promised when I signed up just doesn't happen. I've tried a couple of times to book in with him, and even though I've not managed to get to see him yet, aparently when I do, it will be a sit down and a chat. I don't need a chat, I need him to work with me!

I was joking about the personal trainer in a previous post. It's starting to look like something I need to do now!

Theme Song (Shameless theft!)

I was reading the wonderful Half of Me blog and loved a post Jennette wrote about her "theme song" so I am shamelessly stealing it for here!

It took me a while to think about what my theme song could be, and I was reminded of an episode of Ally McBeal when her therapist asked her to think of her theme song...can anyone remember what she chose? I have it hovering around the fringes of my memory - no doubt it will wake me up at 3am (or worse, 1pm when I'm on nights!) with a flash of recall!

Anyway, what did I come up with as my theme song? Well, it's a bit cheesy, but I love it, I always sing along to it at the top of my voice, and I think it has an important message or 2 buried in there.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you........Mika!

Big Girls you are Beautiful

Walks into the room
Feels like a big balloon I said,
Hey girls you are beautiful'
Diet coke and a pizza please
Diet coke I'm on my knees screamin,
Big girls you are beautiful'
You take your skinny girl
Feel like I'm gonna die
'Cause a real woman
Needs a real man here's why
You take your girl
And multiply her by four
Now a whole lot of woman
Needs a whole lot more
Get yourself to the Butterfly Lounge
Find yourself a big lady
Big boy come on around
And they'll be calling you baby
No need to fantasize
Since I was in my braces
A watering hole
With the girls around
And curves in all the right places
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big girls you are beautiful
Big Girls you are beautiful

I especially love the bit where it says a whole lot of of woman needs a whole lot more (real man) because for me that lays down a gauntlet - are you man enough to love a big girl?

I couldn't choose a song full of angst because I'm not an angst ridden person. But I bet 20 years ago I would have!

Now tell me yours.

Week 18

Weight: 19st 1lb.
Loss this week: 3.5lb.
Total lost: 52.5lb

A happy result this week, and one I was kind of expecting. I have really gone all out for a loss this week after last week's maintain. I've relied heavily on Superfree foods and reduced portion sizes, which is something I suspected I would need to do as my weight came down. I've certainly not gone hungry though, and have even had a few cheeky drinks! Proving, if proof were needed, that the SW plan really is flexible, effective and easy to stick to!

I'm feeling very relaxed following a lovely weekend. I was fed up at the end of last week, after a tough few nights at work. So we booked a last minute camping trip, chucked the tent in the car, and headed 40 mins down the road. By 4pm on Friday I was sat outside my tent in the sunshine reading a Gordon Ramsey book and feeling my stress ebb away. My coolbox was filled with fruit and water for healthy snacks, and we wandered to the local pub for our tea. The only time when I could have allowed my camping trip to trip me up was when I smelled the bacon everyone else was cooking on Saturday morning.....

I didn't get to the gym over the weekend, but it was a very physically active one anyway. Rebecca has been trying to ride her bike without stabilisers, and we all know what that entails! And I did lots of gardening on Sunday too. So the Body Magic levels are all good.

I don't know what I did different at the gym this morning but my legs are aching like an achey thing! Actually, I do know what I did different. I looked at the clock and decided I didn't have time for those pesky stretches that don't really do anything anyway......

Just call me Imelda.

I seem to be getting a "thing" for shoes with a heel. I went out shopping for everyday schoolrun and shopping type shoes and these are what I came home with!

It was another of those "I've fallen in love with them and must have them" moments so I shall wear them for the schoolrun and shopping and cultivate a slightly more glamorous and stylish look!

Now where can I go for some nice everyday sandals.....

Every Step is a Victory

Week 17

Weight: 19st 4.5lb.
Loss this week: 0lb.
Total lost: 49lb

I was a bit gutted to have maintained this week, as I think I pretty much stayed 100% on plan, albeit with too much processed food for my liking. But I guess it's just one of those things - no bad thing I suppose for my body to steady off once in a while instead of careening helter skelter down the scales!

Someone at my class said the nicest thing in the whole world to me as we were leaving yesterday. She told me that I was the reason she had lost weight this week as I had inspired her! How gobsmackingly awesome is that! I don't think I've ever inspired anyone to do anything before. That comment will go in my mental precious memory place for sure! My brother also said something special on my Race for Life sponsorship page..."Every step is a victory!" I nearly cried when I read it, and I could cry again now as I write it. He is so right, every step is a victory - who would ever have guessed, just a few months ago, that I would be entering any kind of race! Just going out there and doing it is victory in itself. If I manage to run some of it, that will be awesome (after this morning at the gym, that is in grave doubt!!) I hope when I reach the finish line I have enough strength left to savour the moment I cross. I don't want to cross in a state of collapse, I want to be elated, glorious and victorious!!

And my personal triumph this week despite my absence of a pound lost is that I bought reasonably priced new clothes along with my groceries today, which clearly means I never have to go near Evans again. This is fabulous news because frankly I hate shopping in Evans.

Right, I'm off to book a session with a personal trainer now. I'm going to be needing a bit of help with that whole victory thing...