Navel Gazing

Week 19

Weight: 18st 13.5lb.
Loss this week: 1.5lb.
Total lost: 54lb

Due to a minor clerical error, it actually says "8st 13.5lb" in my weigh in book. Oh how I wish! But in lieu of that being true, I'm happy to see the number drop below 19, even if it is by the skin of my teeth!

This past week has been immensely hard, mentally. I don't know why, but I could have binged and binged and never tired of binging. Naturally this didn't make me the most positive and happy person to be around and poor dh bore the brunt of my moodiness. He has now said he wished I'd just go and eat a bar of chocolate and get it out of my system! My personal fear was that I wouldn't be able to stop. His personal fear was that we have sharp knives in the house.....!

I am now forced to reflect on the week and wonder how much harm my negative thought processes did. I fought with myself tooth and nail to "be good" and indeed I didn't waver off plan at all. But to achieve that I ate more than I normally would. Whenever I wanted to sprint to the Chinese, I went and ate something "free" instead. I craved a *lot*! I can't help but wonder whether I might have consumed less calories if I'd just given in to my cravings on day 1 and got them out of the way!

So I've worked hard, fought my demons, exercised my heart out, and scraped in with 1.5lbs. That was the hardest 1.5lbs in the history of the world!

Here's to an easier week and a 2lb loss so I can post those photos. (I'm going to be like one of those really annoying TV shows now, where they spend more time telling you what's coming up after the break than showing you what;s happening now!)