Not just a banana....

Week 15

Weight: 19st 7.5lb.
Loss this week: 4lb.
Total lost: 46lb

Through the power of wearing weightless clothing (fact!) I have managed to shed another 4 of those pesky pounds this week. Thank goodness the weather has warmed up enough to allow such light fabrics!

While I was in the bath earlier I was pondering body dysmorphia - you know that condition where gorgeous people think they are ugly? Well I kind of think I have that in reverse. I look in the mirror and see a slim attractive 20 year old woman - I get a terrible shock when I see photos of myself! I think I prefer it this way round though, since it enables me to leave the house with my head held high a big smile plastered on my face. It must be tough to hate yourself and think you are ugly, the world isn't a kind place for people with hang ups and differences.

What does make me self concious though is doing anything that draws attention to my situation. For example, at the weekend I took Rebecca to M&S for lunch (she has very sophisticated tastes for a 6 year old!) and I was forced to sit and eat an apple and a banana, with a glass of water and a black coffee chaser while she tucked into her children's goody bag of tasty treats. Eating my fruit made me feel very visible, it was like having a big sign pointing at me saying "Too Fat For Cake!"

Still, it wasn't just a banana, it was a home grown, sun ripened, hand picked, organically farmed, Fairtrade Marks and Spencers banana, so it wasn't all bad after all.